The Steve Exchange
by elfinblue
Summary: Weird, weird, weird story wherein Steve from the original show and Steve from the remake switch places for a week. Did I mention that it's weird?
1. Chapter 1

The Steve Exchange

Author's note: Okay, this is going to be a weird one. First, I have a confession. Until recently, I had never seen the original Hawaii 5-0. I was basically familiar with it. I knew the theme song. But I'd never watched it. After getting hooked on the 21st century version, I've recently gone back to take a look at the old one. It's certainly different. Of course, some of what strikes me about it has to do with the time it was made. I'm just barely old enough to remember the early seventies and watching the show is like a blast from the past. I also can't help noticing, though, the differences in how that show, compared to the modern version, presented the characters' attitudes and relationships with one another. (Kind of stiff and formal, it seems to me.) Then, this morning, I watched The Young Assassins, wherein (if you don't know) Danno gets kidnapped by a group of hippie terrorists who threaten to kill him unless two of their members are released from jail. All I could think of throughout the episode was how 21st century Steve would have handled that situation.

So basically what has occurred to me is that it would be fun to trade Steves between the two groups. To that end, I've come up with a farfetched and scientifically implausible plot device and I'm going to run with it. Hang on. It's going to be a strange ride. I apologize if the original characters are a bit ooc. I'm trying to get them right but, as I said, I've only seen a few episodes.

(Also, I made a deal with myself that I can only work on this after I write a chapter of my next book, so this might be slow to update. I will continue to update until it's done, though.)

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Chapter One: Not My Steven

Iolani Palace. Universe B 2017

Danny Williams was not impressed.

He stood in the middle of the 5-0 Task Force's main work area and glared at his commander. The rest of the task force stood around the central smart table and watched the conversation, the way one might watch a tennis match. Between monkeys. On pogo sticks.

Danny stood with his arms folded and his hands tucked into his armpits, occasionally freeing one hand or the other to point or gesture with. When he was not using his hands to express himself, he was using the rest of his body. He tilted his upper torso at the waist. He tipped his head. He canted his shoulders this way or that and he swayed from side to side. From beyond the windows, where there was no sound, it would have appeared like he was dancing or trying to escape from a straight jacket. Or both.

"Let's say, for the sake of argument, let's say for just one minute that I believed this farfetched bit of nonsensical science fiction-which, by the way, I do not. But let's pretend that I do believe it."

"Its not science fiction," Steven J. McGarrett interjected. "I know it sounds crazy, but at this point it is a proven fact."

"Right," Danny said sarcastically. "It is a proven fact that there are alternate universes that are just like this one, only different. And there are versions of us in these universes. And we can change places with them."

"Exactly," Steve agreed.

"I've read through the theory." Chin Ho Kelly was brave enough to enter the conversation. "Weird, yes. But it does seem sound."

"It's not a theory," Steve said. "They've done it. Two groups of scientists, one in our universe and one in what they're calling Universe A, using some of the stranger principles of quantum mechanics, have built a device to allow a person to swap places with their counterpart in the other universe. It was only meant to be for scientific research purposes, of course. But one of the scientists in our universe and his counterpart in Universe A both went rogue and sold copies of the technology on the black market. So now we have criminals from our world hiding in their world and criminals from their world hiding in our world. Since both universes have a 5-0 Task Force, and both task forces are headed by me, it just seems to make sense for me to trade places with myself to facilitate all of us working together to capture the fugitives and retrieve the missing technology in both worlds."

Danny snorted in disgust. "Did you even listen to what you just said right there?"

"What? What part of this doesn't make sense?"

"Uh...all of it? Look, let's pretend like all this really is real. Why does it seem like a good idea to you to allow yourself to be zapped into an alternate universe?"

"What could happen?"

"Gee. I don't know." Danny made a show of considering it, tilting his body this way and that, rolling his eyes, waving his right hand around in the air. "You could...die? You could get vaporized? You could get beamed into outer space?"

"None of that is gonna happen. They've done this, okay. They've already done this. They tried it with mice, and lizards, and spider monkeys, and a couple of geologists."

"Okay, first, how do they know they exchanged our universe mice and lizards and spider monkeys with Universe A ones? Do they not all look alike? What did they do? _ASK THEM?_ And secondly, _geologists_? Why would you try this experimental machine out on your fellow scientists?"

Steve shrugged, a little subdued. "Some of the theoretical physicists seem mean," he observed. "Anyway, it's a moot point because the governor has okayed this and it's going to happen. I just have to get to the lab so we can do the exchange in a controlled setting. You guys spend the next week working with Alter-me and seven days from now we trade back. Any questions?"

"What do we know about this Universe A?" Lou Grover asked. "It can't be just like ours or there wouldn't be any point in someone changing places. I mean, say you're in a car chase here. To get away you zap yourself into Universe A, where you're in the middle of a car chase. See what I mean? Doesn't accomplish anything."

"They're not identical," Steve said. "For one thing, there's a time difference."

"A time difference?" Kono Kalakaua asked.

"Yeah. A big one. In Universe A it's 1972. Also, although most of us apparently exist there, we don't necessarily look the same and the relationships aren't necessarily the same. For example, we know that their task force has a Dan Williams-"

"Oh, God. There are two of him," Lou interjected softly.

Danny glared at him. Steve ignored them both.

"Their task force has a Dan Williams and they have a lab technician named Eric Russo, but they're not related."

"If relationships aren't the same, are the people the same?" Kono asked.

"Not necessarily. For example, One of the guys I'm going to be chasing down, with the help of Universe A's 5-0, is Tony Spagghlioni."

"The mob hitman?" Danny asked.

"Exactly. Now, he used the machine to change places with his counterpart. We've already located his counterpart here in our universe. She's a trans woman who's putting herself through medical school by working as a belly dancer. She doesn't want to go back, actually, so we might just throw him in prison there."

"So here's a thought," Danny said. "Assuming, again, that I believe all this-which I don't. Why don't we track down the non-lethal counterparts of the escaped villains in our own respective universes and just use this magic zapper machine to trade them back for their evil twins, who will then be in our custody because we'll set the receiver up inside a maximum security prison."

"I hate to say it, but he's got a point," Lou agreed. Chin and Kono nodded.

"The problem with that," Steve said, "is that we don't know what their counterparts are doing. We could be dropping the innocent doubles out a plane or into the middle of traffic. That's why we're specifically doing this exchange in a laboratory, both ways. So...any other questions?"

"I have one," Chin Ho Kelly said. "If this guy is basically you, does that mean he's going to be in charge? Are we taking orders from this Alter-Steve?"

"No." McGarrett was emphatic. "And I already discussed this with the governor. Consider him a sort of special consultant. I mean, try to avoid an open confrontation, if that's possible. But he's not me and this is my task force. In my absence, Danny's in command. Understood?"

The team nodded and McGarrett nodded back, satisfied.

"Okay, I'm off now. No wisecracks, Danno. Danny's with me and I'll see the rest of you this time next week."

"I'm with you?" Danny asked. "This really is a prank, isn't it? You're just trying to get me to fall for it so you can say gotcha."

"It's not a prank."

"Sure."

"It's not."

"It is."

"It's not."

"Then why am I going with you, hmm?"

"I just need you to drive me to the lab."

"Oh!" Danny reared back, eyes open wide, arms still crossed. "So you're actually going to allow me to drive my own car for a change?"

"Of course not. That was a euphemism. Give me your keys."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Science Laboratory. Universe A. 1972

Dan Williams, dressed in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, jogged into the laboratory, eyes wide in alarm, to find his boss, 5-0 commander Steve McGarrett, pacing in front of a booth that looked like a phone booth out of a Star Trek episode. McGarrett saw him and frowned.

"What's this?" he asked, waving his hand to indicate his second-in-command's clothing.

"Sorry," Dan said. "It's my day off. I was on my way to the beach when an officer flagged me down. He said it was urgent so I came straight here. I have clothes in the car," he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "I can change if-"

"No, I'm afraid there's no time. However, it is unfortunate. I would have preferred that you present yourself in a more professional manner."

"Present myself to whom? What's going on?"

Briefly, McGarrett explained about the alternate universes, the technology, and the impending exchange with his Universe B alter-ego.

Danno was bemused. "Really, Steve? That sounds like something out of science fiction."

"Yes, well, no one asked you," McGarrett said, somewhat harshly. "In about five minutes I'm going to step into that booth and my counterpart from the alternate universe is going to step out. Now, this should go without saying, but you know my feelings on the importance of maintaining a definite chain of command. Even though he's from another universe, this other McGarrett is me and I expect you to work for him just as you would work for me. Understood?"

Danno straightened his spine. "Yes, sir."

"Good man." McGarrett clapped him on the shoulder. "Make me proud."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Science Lab. Universe B. 2017

"Bad idea. _Bad_ idea. Bad, bad, bad idea."

"But, seriously, Danno. Tell me what you really think."

"Okay, say this is all real-"

"Which you still don't believe."

"Which, God help me, is an idea I'm beginning to entertain. Say this really is all real. It is _still_ a really bad idea. What if you get there and they don't want to give you back?"

Steve grinned, delighted. "You love me."

"What if we don't want to take you back?"

"Won't happen. You love me." He hefted a duffel bag.

"What's that?"

"My luggage. You don't think I'm going to go to an alternate universe without packing first?"

"What did you pack," Danny demanded. "Hand grenades and extra ammo?"

"And socks and underwear. Yeah. Why?"

"Just...be careful, okay?"

"I'm always careful."

Danny snorted. Steve stepped into the booth and grinned back at his friend. "Relax. This is gonna be fun."

"Whatever." Danny sighed. "Love you, babe."

"Love you more."

One of the scientists threw a switch. A low hum filled the room and a glow began to build inside the booth. It reached a point where Danny was obliged to cover his eyes and when it died away and he could see again his best friend had vanished and in his place there stood an older man, tall and dark-haired like his Steven but otherwise largely dissimilar. His face was thinner than Steven's, with prominent features. His hair was longer and he wore it combed back in a style that was almost familiar to Danny, though he couldn't quite figure out why. One lock curled down onto his forehead, above his eye. He wore a light-blue suit ( _a McGarrett in a suit! Ha!_ thought Danny) and carried a small bag that could have been either a large briefcase or a small overnight bag.

He stepped out of the booth and looked around.

"I'm Commander Steve McGarrett of the Five-O task force."

Danny stepped forward and offered his hand.

"Detective Danny Williams. You're with me."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Universe A. 1972.

Danno waited, self-conscious about his inappropriate attire, while one of the scientists threw a switch and a low hum filled the lab. A glow built in the booth, reaching a point where he was forced to look away. When the glow had died down and his vision cleared, he looked back to see his best friend gone and a stranger in his place.

This Steve McGarrett was younger, maybe only a few years older than Danno himself. He held himself tall, with a military bearing and his hair, dark like Danno's own Steve's, was short and straight. He wore a pair of khaki trousers with a truly ridiculous number of pockets and a tight black tee shirt and he carried a duffel bag.

He stepped out of the booth and looked around.

"Steve McGarrett. I think you're expecting me?"

Danno came forward and offered him his hand. "Dan Williams. Pleased to meet you."

The man he had decided to call Steve-B took his hand and didn't immediately let go but stood looking down at him, eyebrows raised.

Danno blushed and gestured to himself with his left hand. "I apologize for the informal attire. It was my day off. I was called in suddenly and didn't have the opportunity to change."

"So...you're wearing those clothes voluntarily?"

Danno felt his face growing hot. "Yes, sir."

"So, ah, what were you planning to do? Since it was your day off and all?"

"Oh, well, um, I was heading out to the North Shore to catch some waves."

"Surfing?"

"Yes, sir."

"Again, voluntarily? No one was, I don't know, holding your grandma hostage or anything?"

"Uh, yes sir. No, sir. I don't think I understand, sir."

Steve-B hoisted his duffel bag up on his left shoulder. It clanked. "How do you feel about pineapple on pizza?"

Danno frowned slightly, confused. "It's great with ham," he suggested.

Steve-B broke out in a huge grin, dropped one arm around his shoulders and squeezed hard.

"We're gonna get along just great," he said.


	2. Not My Danno

The Steve Exchange

Author's Note: If you've read many of my stories, you might have seen me mention in one of these notes that, in addition to writing, I still have a mundane day job working as a produce associate in a big retail store. (You know the one. ;) ) It's not a terrible job, usually, give or take the odd rotten potato, and while my hands are busy with fruits and vegetables I can often exercise my mind with plots and storylines. It does get a bit awkward at times, though, and writing Five-O has introduced a new level of odd. You see, I have a tendency to run dialogue in my head only sometimes I accidentally do it out loud too and then I have people wondering why I'm holding random discussions about murder with the bananas.

And now I get the fun of trying to explain to my boss, Steven, that he's not the Steven the voices in my head are talking to...

(Editing my note to add this: I've been cheating. I'm supposed to write a chapter of my book and _then_ a chapter of this, but after only one scene on the book I sat down and wrote a chapter of this story so freaking HUGE that I decided to split it into two chapters. So here are the next two chapters. And I'm a bad girl. :-/

Thank you to everyone who's commented! I'm terrible for not replying but I read them all and appreciate them so much. :) )

I didn't say this before, but I hope you're all smart enough to know that I don't own any of this. ;)

Chapter Two: Not My Danno

Science lab. Universe B. 2017.

Steve McGarrett stepped down from the booth and took stock of the man who'd identified himself as Detective Danny Williams. He was a little older than Steve's own Danno, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie, and Steve thought he heard, in the few words spoken so far, the hint of an east coast accent. He had included his title, detective, in his self-introduction, but referred to himself by the, in Steve's opinion, childish moniker of "Danny" rather than the more formal "Dan". He was shorter than Danno and as they left the laboratory for the parking lot, he walked with a swagger.

McGarrett, who prided himself on his ability to read people, was less than impressed with this version of his friend and subordinate. He saw a man hiding insecurity with bluster, a man who was attempting to gloss over his own shortcomings by emphasizing his standing as assistant to Steve's counterpart. Even though he had, so far, been perfectly polite, everything about his body language screamed negativity. Steve wondered if he would try to use his own Steve McGarrett's absence as an excuse to assert some pretensions of authority

If he did, he would find that this Steve McGarrett did not stand for nonsense nor suffer insubordination gladly.

Once they were outside, Williams led the way to a black sportscar, more streamlined than those Steve was familiar with but not that different. He opened it with a remote control, which was admittedly a bit odd, took Steve's bag and lifted it into the back seat. He paused, though, with it in his hand before he released the handle.

"Just as an aside, are you packing anything strange?"

"I'm sorry? I don't think I follow."

"It's just that I have a firm 'no ordnance in the glove compartment' rule regarding this car. You know? Hand grenades. Mortars. RPG's. Surface to air missiles. Dynamite. C4. Also, none in the back seat or under the seats and only in the trunk if I know about it in advance."

"I'm not in the habit of carrying high explosives," McGarrett said.

"That will make for a refreshing difference." Williams circled the car and got in behind the wheel as McGarrett seated himself on the passenger side. "And, also, hey! I'm going to actually get to drive my own car for a week. I suppose that's a bright spot in this otherwise absurd, poorly-conceived and hastily acted-upon debacle." He started the car and drove out of the lot and down the street. "My Steven," he confided, "is a control freak who does not ever let me drive my own car." He gestured as he spoke, waving one or both hands, pointing his fingers, indicating himself, the vehicle, his own absent Steven, and the city streets upon which, apparently, he was not normally allowed to drive. "Which, that statement probably sounds reasonable if, upon hearing it, you make the assumption that he insists on driving his own vehicle with me as a passenger. Which I, actually, would not have a problem with as that would mean that it was his gas that was being used and his windshield being shot up, et cetera, et cetera. But no, rather he commandeers _my_ lovely vehicle, and takes my keys."

McGarrett was watching Williams' hands. They were rarely both on the wheel at the same time and, indeed, it was not unusual for neither hand to be on the wheel. In fact, he had caught the younger man, several times, steering with his knee.

"I gather you disapprove of this exchange," McGarrett observed.

"I do. Yes. I'm sorry. It's nothing personal. I have nothing against you as a human being or, indeed, as a Steven J-is it J? A?-Steven A. McGarrett, per se. I simply do not think that using science fiction technology to hurl my best friend into an alternate universe is, I'm just going to say it, a good idea. I think it's a bad idea and an unnecessary idea and now I have to worry about what sort of complications might arise to interfere with retrieving him. Not to mention the likelihood, nay, the certitude, of him getting himself into trouble without me there to watch his back."

"I see." McGarrett frowned and let his voice sharpen. "Well, your opinion is irrelevant. No one asked you. You just need to concern yourself with following my orders and assisting me to the best of your ability for the duration of this mission."

Danno occasionally misspoke, but at least he had the sense to know when to accept a reprimand and hold his tongue. Danny, apparently, did not.

"Oh." Williams leaned back in his seat, arms folded across his chest, as he made a show of considering McGarrett's words. (Steve resisted the urge to grab the wheel.) He tilted his head to the side, frowned elaborately in a manner that caused his mouth to push out in a pout, and gazed off into the distance instead of at the road ahead. He nodded a couple of times.

"Yeah," he said. "That's not going to fly around here."

"Excuse me."

"No. I'm sorry. I understand that you are _a_ Steve McGarrett, but you are not _my_ Steve McGarrett and, thus, you are a guest here. We will work with you and gladly accept your forty-five years out of date with technology and police procedure assistance, such as it is. But you are not in command of this task force. _My_ Steve is in command of this task force and, in his absence, this God-forsaken, pineapple-infested rock in the middle of nowhere is _my_ God-forsaken, pineapple-infested rock in the middle of nowhere. And, frankly, while I don't pretend to understand your relationship with whatever version of me exists in your universe, and if that isn't the weirdest thing I've said in at least three years I don't know what is, I can tell you that, if my Steven ever spoke to me like that, which he would not, I would punch him."

"You'd punch him."

"I'd punch him."

"Your boss."

"I would. Right in the kisser. I would. Not that that's an issue, as he would never speak to me in that manner. And, indeed, if anyone else ever spoke to me in that manner..."

"What?"

"Steve would probably punch them. I would certainly punch anyone who spoke to him in that manner."

McGarrett frowned. This reaction was just what he had expected. Well, perhaps a bit more wordy than he had expected, but certainly he'd got the gist. At any rate, this imitation Danno was giving himself airs. McGarrett didn't believe for a minute that he'd actually dare punch his boss, or that his own counterpart would defend a subordinate from a well-earned rebuke. He simply glared at the younger man.

"Did it ever occur to you," he asked, "that perhaps your McGarrett doesn't allow you to drive because you don't keep your hands on the wheel?"

Danny Williams glared back and grabbed the wheel.

"My hands. Are on. The wheel," he grated out.

Steve McGarrett tightened his mouth in disapproval and turned away to examine the passing scenery.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Science lab. Universe A. 1972.

Steven McGarrett gave this univese's Danny Williams a quick, hard squeeze and stepped back.

"I need to figure out what to call you. What do you prefer?"

"My Steve usually calls me Danno," Williams said. "It's sort of my nickname."

Steven's smile grew even larger. "This is hilarious. Okay, then. Come on, Danno. Let's get to work." He charged out of the lab and down the hall, still talking.

"As I see it, we have three distinct jobs to get done. One is to find the missing technology. Now, I understand we've already arrested the scientists who stole it in each universe, but we still need to locate their buyers and get the things off the streets so they can't keep using them to help criminals switch universes. It doesn't do any good to bail out the boat until you fix the leak, after all."

"Yes, Sir." Danno was following along behind him without question.

Steve glanced around. This building was not identical in layout to its counterpart in his own universe but he simply chose a direction at random and kept walking.

"The second job is to find the people from my universe who've been dumped here in exchange for your universe's fleeing criminals. We'll need them on hand to trade for their counterparts when my people catch them in my universe. And they can give my people a starting point by telling us where they were and what they were doing before they were dragged here."

"Yes, Sir," Danno said again.

"And the third job, of course, is to catch the criminals from my universe who fled here."

They had turned down a hall that dead-ended at a heavy door. Steven went through it without bothering to read the sign beside it. Danno, behind him, hesitated briefly, then dutifully followed him in.

Once inside, Steven McGarrett finally stopped, looked around, and swallowed hard.

"Hey!" The young woman who confronted him came up barely to his biceps. "What are you doing? You can't come in here."

She had a point, but Steven reacted the way he always reacted to any kind of confrontation. He went on the offensive. "Excuse me, but we're Five-O. We can be anywhere we need to be. We have full immunity and means at our disposal."

"Oh, really?"

Danno had come up beside him and Steven could see him out of the corner of his eye, blushing furiously. He didn't know why he was so flustered. Sure, they had just wandered into a women's locker room, but all the women in the room were dressed.

"And what, exactly," she demanded, "requires your presence in this locker room?"

"We're looking for the exit," he admitted, but aggressively.

"We must have taken a wrong turn." Danno finally spoke up, with a nervous glance at McGarrett. "Sorry."

There were half a dozen females in the room and they were all staring at the two men.

"Well," the spokeswoman said, "I still don't see how full immunity and means allows you free access to our locker room. You can get to an exit by going through the room and leaving by the other door, but you still have to follow our rules and we have a firm rule that if you come in this locker room you have to take off your shirt before you can leave."

Behind her, the other women snickered and giggled.

Steven gave her a level look. "You first."

"I already did. We've all just finished changing, in fact. Your turn." She gave him a predatory smile. "This gym is here to help us all stay healthy, so just think of it as cardio."

Danno frowned, his face bright, bright red. "How will taking our shirts off help our heart rate?"

"Who said anything about _your_ heart rate?"

Steven bit the inside of his cheek, amusement in his eyes, then set down his duffel bag and pulled his shirt off. The women greeted his action with applause and wolf whistles. Then they turned their attention to Danno. Steven glanced over at him.

"Come on, Danno. Take off your shirt for the ladies so we can go."

Danno swallowed hard.

"You were on your way to the beach, right? You weren't planning on surfing with a shirt on, were you?

"Well, no. But there weren't going to be a bunch of women looking at me either."

"Oh, honey. There were," the spokeswoman said. "Trust me. There were."

Danno sighed and gulped and took his shirt off, receiving his share of cheers and whistles.

Having paid their toll, the two men were shown to another door on the other side of the room and they emerged to find a coffee shop on their right and an exit straight ahead of them. Steven pulled his shirt back on.

"I need coffee."

"And how!" Danno was having trouble getting his shirt buttons in the correct holes. Steven looked down at him and gave him a small shrug.

"Sorry about that. Usually when I go charging off without looking I have my Danny chasing after me, calling me a goofball and keeping me from getting into trouble."

"He calls you that?" Danno seemed shocked. "A goofball? Really?"

"Among other things. Yeah. Did you see that we were walking into a women's locker room?"

"Well...yeah."

"How come you didn't say anything?"

"You seemed like you knew where you were going.

"I've never been here before."

"Yeah, I know but..." Danno ran a hand through his hair. "My Steve really, _really_ doesn't appreciate being second guessed."

They went into the coffee shop, went up to the counter and ordered two large coffees to go. Steven realized that he'd forgotten his wallet and Danno took the bill, pointing out that Steve's money likely wouldn't work in 1972 anyway. They got their order and strolled out of the shop side by side, sipping coffee and still talking.

"My Steve," Danno said, "is a former Navy intelligence operative. He's used to giving orders and having them followed. My job is to back him up and do as I'm told. If I have an opinion, my best bet is to keep it to myself."

Steven rolled this around in his head for a few seconds.

"My Danny," he said, "has never in his life had an opinion about anything that he didn't share. Emphatically."

They were quiet for a couple of minutes.

"Are you in charge of your task force with your McGarrett gone?" Steven asked.

"No, sir. You are. Steve was very clear on that. You're a version of him, so you're in command."

"I see."

They paused outside the laboratory entrance, leaned against a short wall that circled the parking area, and drank coffee in silence.

"An alternate version of me is not me," Steven said at last. "Danny's my second-in-command. I left him in charge."

Danno nodded thoughtfully.

"I bet things are really interesting in my universe right now," Steve ventured.

"It does sound like they might be," Danno agreed.


	3. Not My Task Force

The Steve Exchange

Author's note: Okay, so here are two chapters at once. This happened more or less by accident so it's not going to become a regular thing. Just saying. Thank you again to everyone for all the kind comments. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it.

Again, I don't own anything.

Chapter Three: Not My Task Force

Danny Williams' car, somewhere on the streets of Honolulu. Universe B. 2017.

There was a sudden burst of music from the vicinity of the driver's seat; energetic rock music played through a small speaker. Steve McGarrett glanced over to see Williams pick up a small device, something reminiscent of a handheld calculator, from the console between the seats. The blond's eyes had softened and he was smiling as he held the thing up to his ear.

"And how is the world's most beautiful girl today?"

McGarrett rolled his eyes and looked away again. He wasn't surprised that this Dan Williams, like Danno, apparently had a weakness for the ladies. But he also wasn't looking forward to being an unwilling eavesdropper on his flirting. Williams' tone changed with his second sentence, though, and McGarrett looked back, curious in spite of himself.

"Hey! _Buddy_! I thought you were your sister. I'm so glad you called me, though. I _love_ talking to you! How are you doing? Did you have fun today? What did you do?"

Williams had gone from warm and affectionate to bright and cheerful, exaggeratedly so.

"They are? _Wow_! That is very _nice_ of them. They're _awesome_! Aren't they awesome?... Well, I don't know. If I say yes, can you be on your very best behavior?... And can you use your good manners and say 'please' and 'thank you'?..." Williams was holding the radio, if that was what it was, in his right hand and using his left to reinforce his words with random gestures. He switched the radio to his left hand, used his right to shift gears, switched the radio back to his right hand and steered through a curve with his knee.

"And can you promise to do as they tell you and always stay close enough to the beach that I don't have to worry about you being eaten by a shark or stung by a jellyfish or kidnapped by spies in tiny little submarines or anything?... Yes, the 'Don't Make Daddy Have A Panic Attack Zone'. Your sister thinks she's funny, doesn't she?..Okay, then, if you can do all those things...Of _course_ you can!... I know you can. I'm-you know what? I'm not even worried at all. Because I know you're awesome. Do you _know_ how awesome you are? Well, you are. And you remember that...Okay, I love you, Buddy! Now let me talk to your sister, okay? Okay. Love you Tiger!"

Before now, the concept of a Dan Williams who had children had not even occurred to Steve. He considered the implications. He had chosen Danno from among a field of applicants for the position partly because of his excellent credentials and sterling character, but also partly because he was so young. Steve knew he could mold him into just the assistant he needed. This Danny, though, was older than Danno. He was also, obviously, a transplant from somewhere on the east coast. There was a very good chance he hadn't had the benefit of his Steve McGarrett's influence during his development as a law enforcement officer.

Perhaps McGarrett should give him a little leeway.

" _Hey_ , Monkey," Williams said into the device. "Charlie said you and Will wanted to take him to the beach?... Yes, I know I can trust you... I trust you implicitly. I do not necessarily trust anyone else on the beach, or sharks or tsunamis or suspicious-looking mollusks and crustaceans. But I trust _you_. And _yes_ , I trust Will. If I didn't trust Will he'd have disappeared a year ago when he first started dating my daughter." He tapped his finger against his temple and then pointed aimlessly out the windshield, ignoring the confused look he got from the guy he'd just pointed at. He turned a corner, spinning the steering wheel with his left elbow. "I just wanted to make sure this was something you actually wanted to do and you did not fall victim to Charlie's nuclear puppy dog eyes...okay, then. Yes, you may take your brother to the beach.

"Oh, but I needed to tell you something. Your uncle Steve has had to go out of-" Williams cleared his throat and gave McGarrett a sideways, sardonic glance. "Has had to go out of _town_ for a week. So, instead of that barbecue we were planning, I figure on having everyone to my house for dinner tonight. You'll be there?...Excellent. Bring Will. I need to talk to him...Am I going to embarrass you? Am I going to _embarrass_ you? Are you _seriously_ asking me if I'm going to embarrass you? You're a teenage girl and I'm your father. Of _course_ I'm going to embarrass you. At this point I'm pretty sure my very existence embarrasses you. I just want to talk to him about baseball. No, I'm not going to yell at him about that error in the fifth inning yesterday. Yes, that's what I want to talk about, partly. I'm not gonna yell...I'm not. _Really_. That shouldn't have been an error. The official scorer is a putz. It was _not_ an error and he can't let it get in his head. That's what I want to tell him. Am I allowed to tell him that? Am I? I am? _Thank_ you. _Thank_ you very kindly. And you know what? I've got something I want to tell you, too."

Williams' voice quieted. He stilled and even rested the tips of the last three fingers of his left hand on the top of the steering wheel.

"You're a really good big sister to Charlie, Grace. You are. You _so_ are. The way you look out for him, and teach him things. You protect him and you include him in your life. It's just fantastic. _You're_ fantastic. You're fantastic and he's lucky to have you."

McGarrett had never heard such effusive praise spoken with such simple sincerity.

"And I'm proud of you. So, _so_ proud. I'm proud of the young lady you've become and I'm looking forward to meeting the woman you're growing into. And my heart swells. It swells to bursting that I have the honor to say that I'm your father."

He listened to his device for a long minute. "Grace? Are you there? Do I hear sniffles? You're not crying are you?" He grinned and his tone and manner became light and teasing. His voice was still warm. "A putz? A _putz_? You see? I say all these nice things about you and what do I get? You call me a putz! Okay," he laughed. "Okay, okay. You go on and take your boys to the beach. Have fun and be careful and I'll see you at dinner tonight. Remember Danno loves you."

He took the radio from his ear, tapped his thumb against the face and sat smiling down at it, one eye on the radio and one on the road spooling out in front of them. After a moment he seemed to remember that he wasn't alone in the car. He glanced to the side and met McGarrett's eye. He dropped the radio onto the console and grabbed the steering wheel.

"My hands are on the wheel," He growled.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Science lab parking lot. Universe A. 1972.

"Is this your car? This isn't your car!"

"Uh, yeah. Is there a problem?"

Steven McGarrett walked around the vehicle that Danno had led him to. "No, no problem. This is great! It's a classic. A '66 Mustang! Wow! I wish Chin could see this. Would you believe he has one of these?"

"A '66? Really?"

"Yeah. He loves old cars. And old motorcycles. Restores them himself. His Mustang is red." Danno's was black. "I gotta get a picture of this."

"Did you bring a camera? Because I have one back at the office. We can take a picture and probably get it developed before you have to go back..."

"No, that's okay. I have my phone with me." As Steven dropped his bag on the pavement and pulled out his phone he glanced over. Danno was standing there with a bemused look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm trying to decide what's freakier. That you're carrying a phone around or that you want to use it to take pictures."

Steven laughed. "Twenty-first century technology," he said. He waved his phone in the air. "It's basically a miniature computer. It can do a lot of things besides making phone calls. Hey! I need a picture of you, too. Oh, and get down your surfboard and pose with it." He gestured to the board still strapped to Danno's roof. "Man, if you were wearing flip-flops and eating pineapple pizza this would be perfect."

Danno moved to do as he was asked but there was a frown line between his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir-"

"Call me Steve."

"Right. That's not going to be weird. I'm sorry, Steve, but I don't understand. Why are you so hung up on my clothes and surfing and all? And, by the way, I do have a suit and tie in the car that I'd be more than happy to change into."

"No, no! That's fine! I'm having fun hanging out with a Danny Williams who's actually dressed like he's in Hawaii instead of Newark."

"Newark?"

"Yeah. You see, Danny-my Danny-is from New Jersey. And he didn't exactly come to the islands voluntarily. So, being Danny, he spent the first couple of years he was here determined to hate the place."

"He hated Hawaii?"

"He pretends like he still does sometimes, but I know better. Anyway, he always wears a suit and usually wears a tie. Oh, and hard-soled, city shoes. He flat refuses to put on a Hawaiian shirt or flip-flops. He can surf a little, but he only learned how under duress and you practically have to drive him into the waves at gunpoint. And he has an absolute fit if anyone suggests pineapple on pizza. He says," Steven dropped into a decent imitation of a New Jersey accent, "'pizza is mutz and sauce and dough. Ham does not belong in the same _room_ as a pizza and _pineapple_ on pizza is a sacrilege'."

"So, what-if you don't mind me asking?"

"Not at all," Steven waved magnanimously. "Say cheese."

"Cheese. What drew you to him when you were assembling your task force? Was there something on his resume that stood out, or-?"

"Resume?"

"Yeah. You know. When you were doing interviews and hiring for the task force."

"Interviews?"

"Yeah. You know? When you were staffing?"

"Oh. I didn't exactly staff like that."

"How did you staff?"

"Well, in Danny's case, I twisted his arm."

"You mean you recruited him? And you had to talk him into it?"

"No, I mean I twisted his arm. Behind his back. Like this." Steven McGarrett twisted his own arm behind his back briefly. "I said, 'the governor gave me jurisdiction and I'm making you my partner so suck it up and deal with it.' He said, 'fine' and when I let him go he slugged me. And that," he smiled fondly, "was the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"It kind of doesn't sound like the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Danno said dubiously.

"I say beautiful friendship. Danny says hostage situation," Steven mused. "The important thing is, it works. You know what he did last year? He gave me half his liver."

"Ugh. If I was having liver you could have all of it," Danno shuddered.

Steven grinned. There was a real affection in his eyes. "Not that kind of liver." He casually hoisted his shirt, exposing a swath of tanned skin and a thin, white surgical scar. "I got shot. I was dying. He gave me half his liver."

It took Danno a moment to respond to that.

"Wow," he said finally.

"Yeah."

Danno fixed his surfboard back in place atop the car. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I admit. I'm curious about the guy. I mean, he's me, but he's not, you know? I wish my Steve had taken a camera. I'd like to see what he looks like."

"Oh, that's easy." Steven came over to lean against the car next to him and scrolled through the photos on his phone. Danno looked down at it in wonder.

"It's like a little TV."

"It can be, yeah. Among other things. Oh! Here's Chin Ho with his Mustang at a car show last month."

"That's cool! Man. It looks newer than mine and mine _is_ almost new."

"Yeah. He takes good care of it. Here's Danny. I caught him in a rare good mood. This is one of my favorite pictures of him."

Danny Williams, dressed in his trademark suit and tie, was leaning back at in his desk chair, looking directly at the camera. He'd been laughing about something and was still smiling, a broad, cheerful grin that transformed his face and sparkled in his eyes.

"He looks like a nice guy. That's weird."

"What? That he looks like a nice guy? He is a nice guy. If you can get to know him, he's about the nicest guy there is."

"Yeah, no. Not that. It's just...your Danny has my Steve's hairstyle."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. That is weird."

Steve pulled his phone back and ran his thumb across the screen, scrolling through his photo album. "Oh, I love this picture! Chin's niece, Sarah, lost her parents and he recently got custody of her, so Danny decided that if he was going to raise a daughter he needed to learn how to French braid. Or maybe Chin asked him. I'm not really sure."

"Your Danny knows how to braid hair?"

Danno had set his coffee down on the hood while he wrangled his surfboard. He reclaimed it now and took a sip.

"Yeah. So he was teaching Chin and somehow Kono wound up being their guinea pig." Kono sat cross-legged on the floor, hands in her lap and a puckish grin on her face while Danny and Chin knelt to either side of her braiding her hair. Steven showed Danno the picture and Danno snorted coffee out his nose.

"That's your Kono?"

"Yeah."

"That there in the middle? Sitting on the floor? The one whose hair they're braiding? Is Kono?"

"Yeah. That's her."

Danno's face lit suddenly with a mischievous grin. "We've got to hurry up and get back to the office so I can introduce you to the rest of the team."

"Yeah, okay. Give me your keys."

Danno hesitated, then shrugged and handed over his car keys.

"Great! I knew I could count on a Danny Williams to let me drive. Chin never lets me drive _his_ Mustang." He opened his door and lifted his bag into the back seat, but he hesitated before releasing the strap.

"By the way, how do you feel about ordnance in the glove compartment?"

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Danny Williams' car. Somewhere on the streets of Honolulu. Universe B. 2017.

Steve McGarrett shifted in the passenger seat. "Obviously, we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Let's start over, shall we?"

Danny hesitated for a moment, then gave a short sharp nod. "All right."

"Hello. I'm Steve McGarrett."

"Danny Williams. Pleased to meet you."

They shook hands across the console.

"So, Danny, how many children do you have?" Having noticed the absence of a wedding ring, McGarrett didn't ask about his wife.

"Two. Just the two. Grace and Charlie." He picked up the thing that Steve was thinking of as a radio, glancing down at it while still keeping one eye on the road. The front lit up like a television and as he ran his thumb across it the images moved in response. Combined with the remote control for the car and the giant movie screen-type billboards they were passing, it served as a reminder that this really wasn't a universe Steve was familiar with.

He found what he wanted and handed it over and Steve found himself looking at a pretty, smiling, dark-haired teenage girl and a laughing blond boy. It was a studio shot; they sat together on a sand-colored carpet in front of a painted beach scene.

"Steven," Danny said, "my Steven, made fun of me for having that taken. He said we could have just stuck them on the beach behind his house and taken a picture ourselves. I said yes, we could, but in a photographic studio my children are not in danger of being swept away by a tidal wave or mugged by a crab or whathaveyou."

Steve chuckled and handed it back. "You have a beautiful family."

"Thank you." Danny looked down and when he spoke again his voice was quiet, almost as if her were speaking to himself. "They're my world."

"Tell me about your task force? Who is on it and how do you operate? My own background," he confided, "is in Naval Intelligence."

Danny frowned and nodded. "That makes sense. My Steven is a Navy SEAL."

"Impressive."

"He is. But don't tell him I said that. He's a crazy ninja super-SEAL and he gets us into and out of trouble almost daily. There are five of us. Well, six if you count Jerry."

"Jerry?"

"The conspiracy theorist we keep in the basement."

Steve looked at him askance. "You keep a conspiracy theorist in the basement..."

"Where else are you going to keep a conspiracy theorist?"

"And this man is a member of your Five-0 task force?"

"Steven made him a special consultant. He's actually a genius as research. Especially when we're dealing with more, shall we say, _esoteric_ subject matter."

"And do you frequently deal with esoteric subject matter?"

"Asked the guy from an alternate universe..."

"Point taken. The other three members of your task force-Chin Ho, Kono, and Ben?"

"Chin, Kono, and Lou Grover. Ha! You have a Ben and we have a Jerry. Between us, we have ice cream."

McGarrett cast the other man a bemused, sideways glance. Danny caught it. "Ben and Jerry's. It's a brand of ice cream."

"Ah. I've never heard of it."

"It probably wasn't around in '72. Even in our universe. I don't actually know that for a fact. There's no Lou Grover in your universe?"

"There probably is, as I understand it. But he's not on our task force and I don't know him."

"Ha. That's great! We'll tell Lou his counterpart is...a pimp. No. A sleazy lawyer. No, I got it! We'll tell him he's one of Kamekona's fry cooks!"

"Kamekona," Steve said. "Big Hawaiian? Very entrepreneurial? Owns food trucks?"

"Shrimp and shave ice. He's also started doing helicopter tours."

"Has his picture on everything. Always looking for advertising."

Danny laughed. "It so totally figures that, out of all of us, Kamekona would be the same in both universes."

"Who is Lou Grover in this universe?"

"Former SWAT commander. He's the most recent addition to Five-0. He brings a lot of tactical skills. Good man in a firefight, but don't tell him I said that. Also, he's my daughter's boyfriend's father, which is...interesting."

"Does that bother you?"

"That my daughter, my little baby, who I held when she was born and taught to use a spoon and played tea party with and whose hair I braided and booboos I kissed is now old enough to have a boyfriend? Does that bother me? No, not at all. _YES!_ It makes me _insane_. But I'm trying to be reasonable and give her space and just, y'know, be more Zen about it."

"How's that working?"

"Great. I'm down to half a dozen panic attacks a day now. But, seriously, it helps that Will is a good kid. If she was dating some punk, some kid who, I don't know, reminded me more of _me_ at that age, I'd probably be a lot less cool with it."

"Tell me about the others. What are they like, your Chin Ho and Kono?"

"Well, Chin is a detective lieutenant with HPD. He outranks me, actually. I just came here from the mainland seven years ago and I'm only a detective sergeant."

"If he outranks you, how is it that you're second in command?"

"Five-0 follows the same protocols as Steven's SEAL team. Command structure isn't determined by rank but by other factors. In this case, the factor is that Steven, our self-described 'benevolent dictator', said so."

"But what made him choose you?"

Danny shrugged. "I don't know. I was the first hostage he took?"

McGarrett laughed. "You seem awfully fond of an organization you claim is holding you hostage."

"You never heard of Stockholm syndrome?"

Steve shook his head. "What about Kono?" he asked. "What's his role?"

Danny stilled. "His role? His role?"

"Yes. What does he do?"

"He Kono? Him Kono? He him?"

"Are you having a stroke?"

"I don't think so." Danny giggled suddenly, then clamped down on the emotion and schooled his features. "I cannot wait to introduce you to my people! Kono," he swallowed and took a deep breath, forcing himself to speak calmly. "Kono is a sharpshooter and, ah, a master at hand-to-hand combat."

"Really? That doesn't sound like my Kono."

"Really? I can't imagine why not." Another giggle escaped. "Also, Chin and Kono are cousins. And they are both incredibly skilled with technology."

"My Chin and Kono are unrelated. On my task force, Danno is our sharpshooter and also our computer expert."

"Sounds like an accomplished guy."

"He is. He's an excellent second-in-command. He's skilled, reliable, professional, and he never questions my orders or second guesses me. I told him, before I came here, that he was to follow your Steve McGarrett as if he were me. I guarantee you that he will do just that."

"You mean to tell me that, no matter what Steven comes up with, your me is going to just keep his mouth shut and blindly go along?"

"I do."

They pulled up to a red light. Danny stopped the car, leaned his head back on the headrest and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh, God. Steven's going to get them in _so_ much trouble!"

Steve's mouth tightened in disapproval. That wasn't what he wanted the younger man to take from the conversation. "So, tell me," he asked, "how does your task force operate during the course of an investigation?"

"How do we operate? How do we _operate_? Well, Steven gets a call that we have a case. We investigate said case, chase down leads, and do research. Jerry claims it's the New World Order, Lou starts collecting assault rifles, Chin and Kono handle the financials and deep background searches and are just, generally, reliable and _sane_ , and Steven conducts warrantless searches and intimidates people until someone tells him something useful. At some point we find ourselves with a vital link that we do not have either the resources or the security clearance to pursue. Then Steven says, 'I know a guy who owes me a favor' and he goes all secretive and next thing you know we're standing around our giant computer screen reading top-secret intelligence reports or looking at high-resolution satellite imagery. Then Steven charges off after our target while I chase behind him shouting about police procedure and the many potential benefits of actually _waiting_ for one's _backup_. Then we get shot at- _I_ get shot at. Seriously. He gets me shot on a _regular_ basis. When the dust clears the bad guys are either dead or in custody. Steven is insufferably smug. And I get stuck with the paperwork."

"Really?"

"Really." Danny pulled into the parking lot outside Five-0 headquarters and parked in a reserved spot with his name on it. "How does your task force work?"

"We arrest people who break the law."

Danny considered that, frowning and nodding, humor at the corner of his eyes.

"Wow. What a novel idea."


	4. Not The Usual Suspects

The Steve Exchange

Author's Note: I'm sorry this chapter has taken so long. Real life is being a pain right now. Also, I'm so sad that Daniel and Grace are leaving the show. I can understand their reasons, but still, so sad. At least they will still be part of the task force for the duration of this story.

I hope you enjoy this bit. Next chapter we'll get into some action and I'll try not to take so long to get it written. Mahalo for reading. :)

elf

Chapter Four: Not The Usual Suspects

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972.

Danno Williams directed Steve B, from the alternate universe, to his usual parking spot. The drive over had taken longer than it normally did because the roads in Steve B's century and universe were apparently different and, even though he was driving uncomfortably fast, he kept taking wrong turns.

Steve B jumped out of the car and grabbed his duffel bag from the back seat. "You say you're in the actual palace?" he asked, and headed that way without waiting for a reply. Danno hurried to keep up.

"So, I've told you about my people," Steve said. "Tell me about yours? Does it sound like they're the same or different? I mean, I'm guessing different, but how different? And how about you? Besides surfing on your day off and dressing like you're actually in Hawaii, what are you like?"

"Gosh. I don't even really know how to answer that. You haven't told me that much about your people, you know. Like, Chin Ho. My Chin Ho is a family man. He and his wife have eight children."

"Eight? Seriously?"

"Yes. He's not raising his niece, though. Is your Chin married? Does he have children of his own?"

"Ah, children, no. My Chin is a widower, I'm afraid. He lost his wife several years ago. He is seeing someone pretty seriously now, though." They were almost at the entrance to the building now and, as chance would have it, Kono Kalakaua was approaching it at the same time.

"What about Kono?" Steve B asked. "Does Kono have any kids?"

"Me? Kids?" Kono answered for himself. "Nah, Bruddah. I'm a bachelor."

Steve B froze and stared at him, a shocked look on his face.

Grinning, Danno made the formal introduction. "Steve McGarrett from the alternate universe," he said, glancing around to be sure no one was within hearing, "meet my dear friend, Kono Kalakaua."

Kono offered his hand. Steve B didn't take it, but rather stood there immobile, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. After a minute Kono put his hand down, uncertain.

"I think you broke our temporary boss, buddy." Danno grinned at Kono's confusion.

Steve B slowly smiled, the expression broadening to overtake his whole face. He pointed at Danno.

"Now I know why you snorted coffee when I showed you that picture."

"What picture?" Kono asked.

"Steve has pictures of his team in his universe," Danno said. "Let's go up to my office and he can show them to you."

"Okay."

Together the three men went in and climbed the koa wood staircase to the Five-O offices. In the outer room, Steve B looked around perplexed at the rows of desks and the buzz of activity. "Who are all these people?"

"Our support staff," Danno said. "Don't you have a support staff?"

"No. Well, not really. I mean, there's always Jerry. And of course we have Charlie Fong and Eric Russo in the labs and Max Bergman. He's the coroner."

"Who's Jerry?" Kono asked.

"He's a conspiracy theorist," Steve said. "We keep him in the basement."

"You keep a conspiracy theorist in your basement?" Danno asked.

"Where else you gonna keep a conspiracy theorist?"

"Right. That makes sense. I guess," Danno agreed dubiously. "We've got a Fong and I think there's a lab tech named Eric Russo. And, of course, we have Doc Bergman to take care of us."

"Your Doctor Bergman takes care of you? Ours is the coroner."

"Ours is the coroner. But he's also our personal physician."

"Your personal physician is the coroner? That's a little pessimistic, don't you think?"

Chin Ho and Ben were waiting by Jenny's desk so Danno was spared having to answer that. He led the way over and made introductions. "Steve McGarrett, this is Chin Ho, Ben, and this is our Steve's secretary, Jenny."

"Wow," Steve said. "Your Steve has a secretary?" He gave Jenny a tip of the head and a courtly half bow. "It's very nice to meet you, ma'am."

"You don't have a secretary?" she asked. "Who keeps you organized and answers your phone?"

He shrugged. "I do, mostly. Most of our files are digital so it's easy to organize them. And I answer my own phone."

"What about when you're out of the office?"

Danno grinned. "He takes his phone with him."

"Huh," Chin said. "That must be an awfully long phone cord."

Steve B gave them his charming grin and showed them his phone, to their collective astonishment.

"Show them your pictures," Danno prompted, grinning. To the others he explained, "Steve has pictures of his team on his phone."

"Yeah," Steve said, playing along. "You want to see them?"

"Sure."

"Sure, Bruddah," Kono said. "I want to know why you give me funny looks."

"Probably the same reason the rest of us do," Chin said.

"Probably not," Steve disagreed, grinning. He sorted through his pictures and brought up the picture of Danny first. "This is my Danny Williams, in a rare moment of not ranting about anything."

Chin, Kono, and Jenny leaned close to peer at the small screen.

"He's very handsome," Jenny said.

"Yeah," Steve laughed. "I won't tell him you said that. I don't want it to go to his head." He pulled up another picture. "This is my Chin Ho. This is a picture of him with Sarah, his niece. She lost her parents and he's raising her now."

"Good start," this universe's Chin Ho said. "He's got a ways to go to catch up with me, though."

"What about Kono?" Kono asked. "What's your other me look like?"

"I'm getting there. I'm getting there." Steve McGarrett pulled up another picture and passed it around. "This is Kono's wedding. That's Kono."

Danno hadn't seen this picture either so he leaned in with his teammates. It had been an outdoor wedding and the picture showed a radiant bride and beaming groom standing under a flowered arch.

Chin whistled. "Wow, Bruddah! Their you is a handsome devil and he scored himself a beautiful lady, too."

Danno choked back a laugh and hid his lower face behind his hand.

"Oh, no," Steve said mildly, leaning in. "That's Adam." He grinned. "Kono's the bride."

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters. Universe B. 2017

Steve McGarrett got out of Williams' black Camaro and headed for the palace.

"Wait. Where are you going?" Danny asked.

Steve gestured behind himself, puzzled. "HQ?"

"You're in the palace proper?"

"Yes. You're not?"

"No, that's a museum. We're in the Ali'iolani Hale. It must be cool to work in the original palace."

"It has its charms," McGarrett agreed, joining the shorter man for the walk across to the Hale. They walked carefully side-by-side, neither leading nor lagging behind. The short stroll felt like an exercise in diplomacy.

The Hale was very nice in this universe. Williams bypassed the elevator and led Steve up an elegant staircase. Five-0 headquarters was separated from the rest of the building by glass doors and marked by an impressive seal in the middle of the floor leading into the area. Inside, there were four good-sized, many-windowed offices flanking the entryway, two on each side, and a fifth, larger office set in the far corner. The open area between them contained only a large table with an odd surface, and a couple of work tables and chairs. A large screen, like a television screen but flat and without picture tubes or speakers, hung from the wall. There were no filing cabinets, no bulletin boards, not even a single desk.

He wondered where the secretary worked.

Three people waited by the table, an older but very fit Hawaiian man, a tall, slender, and lovely Hawaiian woman, and a big, burly black man. Danny Williams left his side and went around to stand with his team.

"Alter-Steve, allow me to introduce my friend and possibly my daughter's future father-in-law, Lou Grover. Lou, you're not on the task force in his world. You're one of Kamekona's fry cooks."

Lou Grover scowled down at the blond. "I _know_ when you're lying. You know that right?"

Steve chuckled and offered the big man his hand. "He's not entirely lying. We have no Lou Grover on our task force. However, I don't know who or what your counterpart may be."

"I'm probably a spy," Grover decided. "I fancy myself something of a Bond."

Danny snorted and moved on. "This is Chin Ho Kelly. I was telling you about him."

Steve had pegged the man as either Chin Ho or Kono so he wasn't surprised. "Lieutenant. It's nice to meet you."

"The same. And, whatever Danny told you about me, take it with a grain of salt."

"You mooks are hurting my feelings here, you know that."

Chin Ho bumped his elbow affectionately into Danny's shoulder as Williams circled him to stand next to the woman. Danny put his arm around her and turned to Steve.

"And can you guess who this is?"

Steve considered, mouth twisting into a reluctant smile. "Not Jenny, I'm guessing."

"No, not-wait. Who's Jenny?"

"Jenny? My secretary?"

"You have a _secretary_? _Really?_ "

"Your Steve doesn't have a secretary?"

Danny laughed incredulously. "No. No secretary."

McGarrett frowned at him and raised one eyebrow. "You keep a conspiracy theorist in the basement but you think it's odd that I have a secretary."

Danny tipped his head. "Okay. I'm going to concede that point. Anyway, no. This is not Jenny. And not anyone's secretary."

"Then she must be Kono." McGarrett grinned as Williams looked disappointed.

"How'd you guess?"

"Your behavior was a clue. I _am_ a detective, you know."

"Ah. Yes. My Steve's not. Yes, you're right. This is Kono." Danny was grinning again.

Kono gave him a charming smile that brought out her dimples and if that wasn't something Steve never thought he'd think he didn't know what was. She could tell, obviously, that there was something going on, but had no idea what it was.

"What?" she asked, still smiling. She was ready to laugh, waiting to be let in on the joke. "Danny? What's going on? Why is it funny that he guessed who I am?"

"The Kono on my team is much larger than you, love," Steve told her. "And decidedly more masculine."

"Their Kono's a guy," Danny clarified, as if it were necessary.

"Oh." Kono's mouth tightened in a suppressed laugh, her eyes bright. "I don't know how to react to that. Though I can tell my friends don't have that problem." The three Universe B men were laughing hysterically.

"We'll have to start calling you 'girl-Kono'," Grover said.

She spoke through a smile. "I'll have to start calling you mud."

Chin forced himself to sober up. "Don't get on her bad side, guys. I'm not protecting you if you get on her bad side."

Steve looked around. "Where does your support staff work?"

"Support staff?" Williams looked genuinely confused. "What support staff?"

"You have no support staff? Who does your legwork? Tails suspects? Runs down routine information?"

"We do," Danny said. The others nodded. "Of course," he added, "HPD lends us manpower if we need it. We tend to call on SWAT a lot. And we use their forensics people. And then there's Max Bergman."

"Ah, yes," Alter-Steve said. "We also have a Doc Bergman. I'm afraid we've all wound up in his skilled hands more times than we'd care to count."

"Our Max Bergman is the coroner who handles all our cases," Lou Grover said.

"Yes, so's ours."

"So, what?" Danny asked, a trifle alarmed. "You're all zombies? Is that what you're telling me?"

"No, of course not. Doc Bergman simply takes care of us in addition to his duties as a coroner."

"Your personal physician is the coroner? That's a trifle dark, don't you think?"

Steve cleared his throat and hefted his bag. "Is there somewhere I can work? I'd like a minute to organize my files before I present you the information I've brought on the fugitives we're going to be attempting to locate and recover."

"Sure. You can use our Steve's office," Danny said. He led him over to the larger corner office and opened the door for him.

Steve went in and looked around. "He doesn't have a phone?"

"He's probably got it with him," Danny said.

"I hope he uses it to take some pictures," Chin said. "I'd like to see what our counterparts look like."

"He will," Danny said confidently.

"That thing you were talking on in the car," Steve said, understanding now, "that was a phone? I thought it was some kind of radio."

"You're not actually wrong about that," Kono told him. "Cell phones-they're called cell phones because they use a battery-are basically complex, hand-held radios. They operate by bouncing signals off radio towers and they work anywhere you're close enough to a tower to get a signal, which these days is almost everywhere. There are still some rural areas where you'll find it hard to get a signal and sometimes in cities the signal can be blocked by the buildings. You can also occasionally lose service because too many people are using their phones at the same time, but that sort of thing generally only happens during something like a large-scale emergency. Overall, cell phones are at least as reliable as landlines, which tend to be scarce now."

"That's all very interesting," Steve said. "But what if I need to contact someone?"

"We have a phone for you." She took one of the devices from the pocket of her jeans and came up to show it to him. It was rectangular, about the size of an index card and less than half an inch thick. The face was mostly glass with a single button and a couple of symbols beneath it and there were a few more buttons and holes on the sides, top, and bottom. "You use this button to turn it on and then swipe your finger across the screen to unlock it. Since this is all new to you, we kept the apps to a minimum."

"Apps?"

"Applications. There are thousands of things you can do with a cell phone, but we've only programmed this one with a few basic ones. This phone icon is to make calls and you can use the contact list to dial numbers for you. I've programmed in our numbers, the governor's office, the lab, and the coroner. Just tap the name of the person you want to call and then tap the green 'call' icon. Try it if you like."

With a bemused shake of his head, Steve tapped the name Danny and then the green outline of a telephone handset. A few feet away, Danny Williams' pocket started playing the theme song from The Twilight Zone.

Chin Ho gave him a sideways look. "Really?"

"It seemed appropriate." He pulled out his own phone tapped the face and spoke into it. "Hello?"

Steve heard him both across the room and, faintly, from the device in his hand.

"You're going to want to either put it up to your ear or hit the speaker button," Lou Grover said.

Steve obediently put the device to his ear, mimicking Williams' pose. "Like this?"

"Exactly," Danny said. "And this is how you hang up." He took the phone down and showed Steve how he hit the red "end call" button.

A little more coaching and Steve felt confident that, if necessary, he could use the device to make a phone call.

"It also has a clock, a calendar, a calculator, and a GPS program that will show you a map of anywhere in the world and give you directions from your current location," Chin said. "Also, there's a text messaging app. That's like a phone call, but you send written messages or photos or files. And the person doesn't have to answer immediately to receive it. It will still be there when they check their phone again."

He pointed out an icon that looked like an envelope.

"Why is there a one beside it?" Steve asked.

"That means you have a message waiting. It must be a test message from when they activated the phone."

Steve tapped the button and a list popped up with a single entry, marked "lab" and showing a paper clip beside it.

"That means there's an attachment," Kono said. "Tap the message to expand it."

He did and it opened to a few lines of text and a picture.

"Welcome to our universe. Testing. Testing." The picture was of a young, shirtless Danny Williams with his hands handcuffed over his head."

Steve raised one eyebrow and looked at the younger man. Kono peeked over his shoulder and giggled (which was another thing he never thought he'd think). "Eric strikes again."

"What?" Danny came over to look as well, then swore and headed for what was, presumably, his own office, pulling out his phone as he went.

His teammates chuckled and Steve was quietly amused to see what he perceived as confirmation of his initial impression that Williams' importance was largely in his own mind.

"It's from a calendar that his force in New Jersey put out," Kono explained. "They're like pin-up calendars for women. A lot of police departments and fire departments make them up with pictures of their members and sell them to raise money for charity. Danny was Mr. November."

Steve went around behind the desk and set his new phone and his bag on the shining wood surface. "I'll keep that in mind," he said.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972

"...so I brought along a small printer," Steve-B took a small machine from his duffel bag, "and a cord for it and I really hope that our universes' electrical infrastructures are compatible. Someone want to plug this in for me?" He plugged one end of the cord into the machine and handed the other off to Kono who knelt and plugged it into a convenient wall socket."

"What if they're not compatible?" Danno asked.

"The printer will probably blow up or catch fire," Steve said, turning it on. Danno, Chin, Kono, and Jenny moved back but nothing exploded. Steve gave them a satisfied grin and turned his attention back to his phone. "Okay, great. So, our task force has captured one of the two men who bought the universe-hopping technology and I've got a list of five people they've been paid to transfer to your world. I got everything we had on those five people and if you've got some blank typing paper, I'll print that out for you. We've also located one of the people from your world who was swapped for one of them, so we have an idea where to start looking. And I understand four criminals from your universe have so far jumped into mine, which means we have four presumably innocent civilians from my world to locate here as well. Is that right?"

"That's right," Chin Ho said. "And we have names for those four. We've got people compiling police reports on them right now. It should only take them another hour or two."

"Hours? For police records?" Steve echoed, dismayed. "Really?"

Danno stepped up. "Why don't we start with what you've brought. We can start printing it off. That will probably take a while."

Steve-B shrugged, took the typing paper Jenny had found for him and put a stack of it into his printer. He fiddled with his phone for a minute, then hit a button and the printer stirred and rattled and then started to spit out pages.

"...or maybe not," Danno conceded. "Your technology is really wild, you know that? What else does that thing," he gestured at the phone, "do?"

"In my universe? Lots of stuff. In this universe? Not much. It relies on an infrastructure that you simply don't have. It will tell time and you can look at pictures and watch videos that I have actually downloaded to the phone's memory, or that I've taken with the phone. I can take pictures or videos, use the clock and calculator and listen to music that, again, I have on the actual phone." Steve looked around and registered the dazed looks on the team's faces. "But, hey," he said, trying to make them feel better, "you guys have some pretty awesome stuff too. Like the classic cars! Let me tell you, they don't make them like that anymore. And great music. And what is this thing?"

"That?" Danno blinked. "What's that?"

"Yeah. This thing here. What is that?"

"It's...an electric typewriter."

"Really?" Steve was impressed. "I've heard of those!"

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters. Universe B. 2017.

Steve McGarrett laid out his four file folders neatly. They were thin-he'd left before they had time to compile much more than a list of names, a few rap sheets, and the results of interrogating the black market "travel agent" they'd arrested who had been one of the buyers of the stolen technology. He wanted a few minutes to compose himself before diving into the case and he wanted to get a better idea of how this team really worked.

Lou, Chin, and Kono were still gathered around the table. Danny had retreated to the office diagonally opposite his own and Steve could see him through the window pacing and waving his arms as he talked on the phone. Steve wondered if he was ever still and considered that it would be impossible to take him on a stakeout.

The desk he was sitting at was spotless and polished to a high gloss. On one corner there were two framed pictures, one of two women, one older and one younger, and a small girl. The other picture was of a distinguished older man in an HPD uniform. The walls were also covered with pictures and framed certificates and Steve rose and went around to look at them more closely.

There were several pictures that Steve attributed to his counterpart's military career, as well as a presentation flag in a frame and a number of medals and certificates for various achievements. He circled, studying them, and his eye was drawn to a framed picture from a newspaper, a large, likely front page picture with a headline below it. Danny Williams, in black tie and tails, stood next to two taller, dark-haired men who were similarly attired. The three men stood at attention in front of a small, white-haired lady. The headline read, "FIVE-0 LEADERS AND BRITISH AGENT HONORED BY THE QUEEN".

On the other side of the door there were several framed pictures of the Five-0 team, including one of the dark-haired men from the newspaper. This, then, must be his Universe B counterpart. Steve studied the man. He was younger, athletic, with an open, easy face. A couple of the pictures were just of Steve and Danny, laughing, with their arms around each other's necks. There was one picture of Danny, in a suit, and Steve, armed and wearing all black, flanking Grace Williams, who was wearing a formal. The three, arms firmly around one another, beamed at the camera while armed men and weeping, well-dressed teenagers milled around in the background of a decorated ballroom.

He paced a little more and found a grouping of children's crayon drawings, all carefully framed and proudly displayed. A crude drawing of a racecar was signed "Charlie" in awkward script. Under that, in pen, was written, "now that you have your own racecar, maybe you can let me drive mine sometimes." Under that was written in another hand, "as awesome as Charlie's car is, not a chance." One drawing, yellowed and obviously the oldest on the wall, featured three stick figures. A young girl figure held hands with a tall stick man clad in black. They stood next to a high bed where a yellow-haired stick figure lay under a white sheet. Squares beside the bed suggested machinery. It was inscribed by what looked to be a second- or third-grader.

"To Uncle Steve, Thank you for taking care of my Danno when he was sick. I love you. Gracie."

Steve McGarrett paced back to the desk, more puzzled than ever. One thing was certain about the relationship between these men. It was not simple.

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-O Headquarters. Universe A. 1972.

Steve B had taken the reams of files his printer produced and gone into their Steve's office to sort them out. "It's only a small portable printer," he had said apologetically. "It doesn't collate."

With him gone, Jenny and the three junior members of the task force gathered around Jenny's desk and leaned in to talk.

"I'm telling you," Danno said, "this is the wildest thing I have ever seen. I don't even know what the craziest part of it is."

"I do," Kono said. "Did you see that picture of their universe's Danny Williams? He's got Steve's hairstyle. It's freaking me out, man!"

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

Five-0 Headquarters, Universe B. 2017

With their visitor lurking in Steve's office and Danny still in his own office, ranting at Eric, Chin, Kono, and Lou gathered around the smart table and leaned in close to talk.

"Did either of you notice," Chin asked, "that Alter-Steve has Danny's hairstyle?"

Kono nodded.

"Did I notice?" Lou echoed. "Heck, yeah, I noticed! And it's _freaking_ me _out_ , man!"


End file.
